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Shonda Rhimes Wrote the Realest Essay About Her 150-Pound Weight Loss – Health.com

Jun 30th, 2017

According to Shonda Rhimes, the only thing worse than shedding a lot ofweight is getting the wrong kind ofattention for it afterward. In a newsletter sentto Shondaland subscribers last week, Rhimes, 47,reveals that it wasnt until she lost nearly 150 pounds that people seemed to find her valuable.

Though the Greys Anatomy and Scandal creator dropped the weight about two years ago, shes still stunned anddisturbedby the way people, even strangers,reacted to her transformation.

I did not do it because I thought I would become beautiful like in the movies, Rhimes explains. I did it because I could not walk up a short flight up stairs without stopping to take a break and wiping sweat from my brow. I did it because my body was physically rebelling against the brain that had been ignoring it for so long.

RELATED: 4 Annoying Comments to Expect When You're Losing Weight

And dont get her wrong, Rhimes still isnt taken with #cleanliving. In fact, she loathed what it took to lose so many pounds.

Losing weight is not a topic I like discussing, she writes. Why? Because there is nothing fun or interesting or great about it. I hated losing weight. I hated every single second of it. And I hate every single second of maintaining my weight, too.

What Rhimeshated even more was howslimming down changed the waypeople reacted to her."But you know what was worse than losing weight? What was SO MUCH MORE HORRIFYING? How people treated me after I lost weight," she explains.

"I mean, things got weird," writes Rhimes.Especially when women she hardly knew gushed over her new look. "Like I was holding-a-new-baby-gushed. Only there was no new baby. It was just me. In a dress. With makeup on and my hair all did, yes. Butstill the same me."

Men began to take notice of Rhimes too, she recalls.THEY SPOKE TO ME. Like stood still and had long conversations with me about things. It was disconcerting.

The newfound attention wasnt the only thing that made this high-powered TVproducer uncomfortable. She was also appalled by how breezily people commented on her appearance, calling her hot or telling her they were were proud of her.

"After I lost weight, I discovered that people found me valuable. Worthy of conversation. A person one could look at. A person one could compliment. A person one could admire," she continues.

To Rhimes, it felt like others only considered her worthy of conversation once she looked a certain way. After that realization,she began to wonder.What the hell did they see me as before? How invisible was I to them? How hard did they work to avoid me? she writes.

WATCH THE VIDEO: What 5 Olympic Athletes Can Teach You About Body Confidence

Of courseRhimes also infuses her newsletter with humor. While lamentinghow hard it was to drop the 150 pounds, she says she misses eating all the fried chicken, and not just when it was on her plate. No. I miss eating ALL THE FRIED CHICKEN, she writes. All of it. Every piece, everywhere.

Jokes aside, Rhimesmakes a powerful pointin a world where unrealistic body ideals are everywhere and a person's size is often linked to their value.Being thinner doesnt make you a different person," she says."It just makes you thinner.

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Shonda Rhimes Wrote the Realest Essay About Her 150-Pound Weight Loss - Health.com

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