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The Worst Thing About The Goop Lab Is How Reasonable It Seems – BuzzFeed News

Jan 25th, 2020

The mostly harmless new Netflix series The Goop Lab makes it easy to forget the damage Gwyneth Paltrows pseudoscience-y brand of "wellness" can do.

Posted on January 23, 2020, at 9:31 a.m. ET

Gwyneth Paltrow and Elise Loehnen, the chief content officer of Goop, in Episode 5 of The Goop Lab.

Youve gotta give it to Gwyneth Paltrow: Shes no dummy. The promotional photo that looks like shes trapped inside a many-layered vulva; the vagina-scented candle that costs $75 (sold out, good grief); her surprisingly delightful role on The Politician; her cool-mom presence on Instagram, leaving a faint breadcrumb trail of proof that actually she has a great sense of humor it all creates the image of Paltrow as someone far more self-aware than her wellness brand Goop, on its face, would suggest.

It remains kind of a bummer that someone as interesting as Paltrow is using her charisma to recommend and sell a variety of potentially risky pseudoscience treatments and products to her large, enthusiastic audience. But based on her newest project, a Netflix series called The Goop Lab that debuts January 24, it looks like this is the Paltrow were getting from now on.

Each episode of the show explores one alternative health or wellness trend, following an expert or enthusiast whos offering a different way to live a better, happier, healthier life. Paltrow dips in and out, usually interviewing the leading expert and sometimes acting as the guinea pig herself. (She does not, regrettably, do mushrooms or masturbate on camera.) And each Goop Lab episode begins with a disclaimer: The following series is designed to entertain and inform not provide medical advice.

Maybe the Goop team learned something from the lawsuit it settled in 2018, over some deeply unscientific claims about the benefits of inserting a jade egg into your vagina. At the time, Goop suggested that the egg could help balance your hormones (it is a rock shaped like an egg) and help prevent uterine prolapse (it is still a rock shaped like an egg). The site's editors have since removed the offending language from the product description.

Paltrow and her staff have built a business on pseudoscience that targets women where our anxieties are.

A pretty sizable chunk of Goops website is dedicated to convincing you to buy luxury goods you absolutely do not need: a pair of low-rise jeans that only go up to size 31 ($295), an infrared sauna blanket ($500), or a pair of made-to-order pearl drop earrings ($16,780). Most of these things are unnecessary, but perfectly harmless. Would you like a $200 dopp kit that only holds maybe six products? Knock yourself out, kid. But clicking on the wellness section of the Goop site opens the door to a much more nefarious part of the business. Theres a wide range of (highly suspect) information on fasting-mimicking meal plans (briefly mentioned on Goop Lab), a summer detox guide, and an endless selection of supplements that cost as much as $90 including something called High School Genes, a one-month supply of pills formulated for women who feel like their metabolism might be slowing down.

So youd be forgiven for walking into The Goop Lab with derision, prepared to be sold some (possibly literal) snake oil or maybe a CBD patch that you put on your butt to calm your detox teainduced diarrhea or perhaps a $42,500 pillow made entirely of rose quartz. (Its very uncomfortable but very exclusive.) It may be either a relief or a disappointment to learn that The Goop Lab feels like it comes from a different, much tamer (and less product-led) point of view than the Goop brand overall. And thats actually the biggest problem with The Goop Lab: There really isnt one.

The recommendations dispensed are largely reasonable, if a bit unorthodox when compared to traditional medicine microdosing mushrooms to help with PTSD, psychic readings, looking at your own vagina, jumping into cold water to keep yourself feeling young. Any science The Goop Lab presents is generally flimsy, but its really not about the science. The various slightly woo-woo topics explored have been covered many times before, sometimes by this very media company.

The trouble comes when you compare the series with Goops broader branding and strategy. Paltrow and her staff have built a business on pseudoscience that targets women where our anxieties are: Am I getting enough sleep? Am I attractive? Am I thin? Am I sexually fulfilled? Hows my skin? Hows my hair? Hows my overall sense of self?

Often, were not happy with the answers to those questions which leads people to buy products that dont work or take advice thats downright dangerous. The Goop Lab, meanwhile, is much more innocent and far harder to hate than the e-commerce empire that spawned it. So it acts as a form of brand rehab for Goop and Paltrow in general but theres no indication that the underlying Goop ethos has actually changed.

Goop staff exercise their intuition in Episode 6 of The Goop Lab.

Some episodes of The Goop Lab may actually be emotionally impactful if youre a cis woman struggling with your body. The Pleasure Is Ours focuses on sexual health and shows more vaginas than youd even see in an eighth-grade health class. The episode follows an accountant who works for Goop, a queer woman originally from Shanghai, struggling to open up intimately with a partner a rare moment of the Goop brand not being aggressively white, rich, and capitalist. Sex educator (and absolutely delightful, brassy broad) Betty Dodson recommends some pelvic floor exercises, which can have benefits for many women, but theres no one urging viewers to buy any mysterious sprays or unnecessary wands or douches. (The famed egg, alas, does not make an appearance.)

Other episodes are less effective. Cold Comfort follows Wim Hof, an extreme athlete who believes that his particular breathing method can help the body withstand subzero temperatures, depression, stress, and, most worryingly, bacterial infections. The idea that if you just believe in yourself and breathe like Hof, you, too, will be able to fight off hypothermia and E. coli is both patently ridiculous and outright dangerous. I dont know who needs to hear this, but: Breathing exercises will not save you from freezing to literal death.

Believing in the otherwise unbelievable is easy to do if youre willing to take a small leap of faith.

In another episode, Paltrow puts herself through a fasting-mimicking diet for five days, which effectively allows her little more than a watery, miserable soup, a bunch of tea, and a nut bar each day. What Goop frames as wellness is also often focused on weight loss and food restriction, even if no one says so directly. The Health-Span Plan episode is purportedly about your biological age, but it also advocates for incredibly expensive facials, diets that punish the body and the spirit, and a general focus on clinging to physical youth rather than prioritizing something like, say, your general quality of life.

Much of The Goop Lab is just plain weird and barely worth picking apart. What are you supposed to pull from the episode where Julianne Hough joins Paltrow and her Goop employees (who are featured in all the episodes, seemingly of their own free will, which Im sure their HR department just loved) as they get their energies realigned? The episode is 29 minutes of people writhing and grunting on tables with no scientific proof or explanation for whats apparently happening to them. The expert leading the episode John Amaral, a go-to energy healer for the rich and famous seems to believe that changing your bodys energy (which is basically just having some guy wave his hands over your body until you convulse, I think?) can change your rate of cell growth which, honestly, isnt the dumbest thing Goop has ever suggested.

Believing in the otherwise unbelievable is easy to do if youre willing to take a small leap of faith. If youre watching The Goop Lab to begin with, youre likely already prepared to jump. But the show is enough of a departure from the absurdity of Goops website, and so much gentler in its approach to overpriced, overhyped, unnecessary wellness trends, that youd be forgiven for forgetting that Goops fundamental business model is still profiting off gullible and vulnerable consumers who buy into the dubious promises it makes. With The Goop Lab, it seems like Paltrow is making a play to bring her brand out of the jade egg era into a new phase of (relative) credibility. But of course, the egg is still for sale, for $66 if it ever comes back in stock.

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The Worst Thing About The Goop Lab Is How Reasonable It Seems - BuzzFeed News

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