‘I was told I was too overweight to ever have kids’ – 9Honey
"You'll never have children."
At 16, this was quite a shock to hear from the doctor. After experiencing only one or two periods since I started menstruating at 13, my mum was determined to find a reason for my irregular cycle. Our family doctor dismissed my symptoms and said to come back in a few years. At least this doctor gave me a diagnosis; Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), something I'd never heard of before.
I was given the oral contraceptive pill to "regulate" my cycles, told to lose weight to manage my symptoms and sent on my way. At the time I didn't think it bothered me but looking back now it had a huge impact on me. My grades at school got worse and my confidence plummeted, I felt like my body had failed me and I was completely unlovable.
This was when dieting really took hold of my life.
I'd always been a bigger kid with a love of food. At around 8 or 9, my parents had started switching to low fat foods or snacks with fewer calories but once I had my PCOS diagnosis, I went from one diet to the next to the next, hoping to find one that would fix me. Over the next 15 years I tried them all; calorie counting, low fat, low carb, juicing, cabbage soup. You name it, I tried it, but no matter how much weight I lost, I always regained it plus more.
During my twenties I trained as an acupuncturist and naturopath and was instantly drawn to specialising in fertility, as my cycles were still super irregular, often 100+ days long. I realised that people needed so much support during their time getting pregnant so I also trained as a fertility coach.
I got married to the love of my love the year I qualified and a couple of years later we were ready to start our family, but I panicked. What if I couldn't get pregnant? What if we could never have children? Would my husband still love me?
My plan was to spend 6 months losing weight once we started trying. I thought that was what I would need to do to get pregnant. I was ready for the battle.
But it wasn't hard. We got pregnant with both our boys easily. I know how lucky I am and I'm grateful everyday for my family, but it made me question everything I've ever been told about my body. Why was it so easy for me when I was still in a big body and having such an irregular cycle?
Once my son was ready to start eating solid foods, I realised that the last thing I wanted to do was pass on my issues around food and my body so I vowed to give up dieting for good and to stop weighing myself.
This was the biggest gift I ever gave to myself. I felt like a cloud had been lifted. Suddenly I had so much more mental space to think about things beyond food, I felt free. But at the same time, I felt like I'd lost something, a part of my identity that was a fat woman trying to lose weight. If I wasn't that, what was I? Could I just be a fat person?
The more I researched this area, the more evidence I found to support the facts that:
This research has fuelled my work and I now solely support fat people who want to get pregnant as they navigate the stigma they face in healthcare system.
Now I'm a fat-positive and feminist fertility coach and the author of Fat and Fertile.I advocate for change in how fat people are treated on their fertility journey and support fat people who are struggling to get pregnant to find peace with their body, find their own version of health and finally escape the yo-yo dieting cycle.
You can download The Fat Girl's Guide to Getting Pregnant here, and follow Nicola on Instagram here.
Read the rest here:
'I was told I was too overweight to ever have kids' - 9Honey
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