Dont Comment On Anybodys Weight, Even If Theyre Famous – Chatelaine
Adele at the Grammys in 2017. (Photo: Francis Specker/CBS via Getty Images)
Heres the skinny on giving unsolicited weight-loss comments: Dont.
We all saw that picture of Adele two weeks ago, ending a lengthy social media break to thank frontline workers for their efforts in the fight against COVID-19. But her message of gratitude was quickly overshadowed because Adele looksdifferent. And by different, I mean thinner.
The internet lit up with comments about Adeles appearance, but also about the response to it. For every doesnt she look great? there was a shes always been beautiful! There were angry admonitions about equating skinny with pretty, and hot debates on when, and if, weight and health are connected.
My personal opinion is that Adele has always been stunning, particularly during those times that her voice has gripped my heart, and not let go until her very last note. More importantly, I think that were not doing ourselves any favours when we provide unsolicited feedback on someone elses weight. I would go so far as to say this behaviour can be harmful, and I know this from personal experience.
A few years ago, I switched up my lifestyle to involve more exercise and smaller food portions. I never had weight loss in mindmy goal was to get fitter and healthier, wherever that took me. And over time, my asthma symptoms improved and my joints stopped hurting. As my resting heart rate dropped, my anxiety symptoms lessened.
I also lost about 50 pounds, and people noticed. I would walk into a room and be complimented on how good I looked. I would post a photo on Instagram and my screen would light up with notifications. My circle remarked on everything from how small my arms were getting to how much thinner my face was.
At first, I loved the attention. It was validating. The work I was putting into my health could be sensed by others in some tangible way and it felt positive and motivating. But people were responding to my weight, not my health, and I began to post before-and-after photos. Me holding my baby years ago, versus me at the gym today. Me holding up a pair of too-big pants, next to a photo of me wearing those pants months before. I was the weight loss commercial, the success story.
Eventually, though, I needed to increase the dose of my anxiety medication and I noticed my clothes getting tighter within weeks. I immediately began to experience a feeling of utter failure. In our society, were taught that weight loss equals good and weight gain equals bad and I had changed sides. Larger people grew up with the same messaging as our skinnier counterparts and we internalized that discrimination. Therefore, we can quickly turn on ourselves, just as I did.
Fatphobia is an undeniable and deeply ingrained part of our culture. Fat people are seen as ugly, unlovable, dumb, goofy, clumsy, greedy and unhealthy sidekicks to the thin people in their lives. Up until very recently, we were never sexy, never the hero, never the centre of attention in movies, TV and other media. Even now, its the rare exception that a bigger person gets a lead role in a production or becomes a famous recording artist. Comedians will sometimes get a pass, too, but only because their humour falls in line with our expectation of fat people. Its good that were making headway, but acceptance of larger bodies is precarious at best. Fatphobia is everywhere, always, and those of us with larger bodies feel it; not only from the outside, but often from within, too.
Theres a reason why the global weight management industry was worth US$1.89 billion in 2018: Its not terribly effective. Scientists estimate that between 90 and 95 percent of people who lose weight will have regained it in five years time. The body is far better at temporarily shedding fat than keeping it off, making many of us lifelong diet industry users. That is fatphobia in a nutshell.
Even at my lightest weight, I wasnt exactly thin, and I likely never will be. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), a hormonal issue that can, among other things, have a profound effect on metabolism, making it harder to lose pounds and keep them off. This, coupled with genetics, is probably why I still weigh over 200 pounds, no matter what I do.
When it comes to body mass, we all have a set point, and without constant effort, most of us will wind up in a fairly small weight range. Age, illness, medications, stress, and other issues can affect our metabolisms too, leaving those who are genetically predisposed to being larger facing that truth again and again.
Reading this might make skinny people, or even those of average weight, defensive. This isnt true! I think all bodies are beautiful! might be your reaction. And maybe thats true on the surface. But ask yourself this: When was the last time you complimented someone on gaining weight? Im going to guess never. Its not something we do in polite society. Thats because pointing out increased body weight risks causing offense, because being fat is often considered offensive.
Complimenting weight loss, on the other hand, is almost always welcome. It was to me. Deep down, I didnt want to be fat. I had experienced the pain of judgment my entire life, and the idea of escaping it was far more appetizing than extra calories. But I was trying to play a game I had very little hope of winning.
Let me be crystal clear: There is nothing wrong with losing weight. People do it all the time for their own reasons, and if they want to celebrate it, good for them. Im still a handful of dress sizes smaller than I used to be, and Id be lying if I said I didnt appreciate that my knees no longer hurt when I climb the stairs and Im not winded at the top. Finding more clothing that fits and chairs that dont press painfully against my outer thighs reminds me how the world is designed for smaller bodies. Living within the ranges of what is deemed average has made my life easier. But statistically, I might not stay in this range forever. What then? How will I feel about being outside the margins again?
I wont presume to know how Adele feels about her weight loss, what she did to achieve it, what her plan is for maintaining it, or whether she was hoping for the reaction she received by posting her photo. For many reasons, including her wealth and privilege, she is in a better position than most to be in that five percent of successful weight-loss maintainers.
But if she isnt, it will be viewed by some as personal failure. The world will be unkind. Many of the once-affirming comments will turn negative and nasty. And if shes like most of us here on Planet Earth, that will hurt.
Which is why I wish wed all stop offering commentary on strangers bodies, especially women. Thats the way to create a world where we really do appreciate highly variant forms of beauty, in which someones weight loss, or gain, matters less than their talent, altruism, kindness, wisdom or compassion.
Follow this link:
Dont Comment On Anybodys Weight, Even If Theyre Famous - Chatelaine
- How To Lose Weight Quickly - How To Lose Stomach Fat [Last Updated On: May 7th, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 7th, 2011]
- How to lose weight quickly - Losing weight quickly is possible [Last Updated On: May 7th, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 7th, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight Fast - How To Lose Belly Fat [Last Updated On: May 10th, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 10th, 2011]
- Build Muscle Quickly with Bodyweight Exercises! [Last Updated On: May 19th, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 19th, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight Quickly and Easy [Last Updated On: May 22nd, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 22nd, 2011]
- Treadmill Workouts : How to Lose Weight Fast [Last Updated On: May 23rd, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 23rd, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight Quickly: High Intensity Exercise and Its Post-Workout Effect [Last Updated On: May 30th, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 30th, 2011]
- How to lose weight quickly, safely and easily [Last Updated On: May 31st, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 31st, 2011]
- Total Wellbeing Diet - How to lose weight quickly fast [Last Updated On: May 31st, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 31st, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight Quickly I Tips for Plan a Diet Solution [Last Updated On: June 1st, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 1st, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight Quickly - Lose 20 Pounds in 1 Month [Last Updated On: June 1st, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 1st, 2011]
- Zone Diet Menu Plan - How to lose weight quickly [Last Updated On: June 6th, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 6th, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight Quickly - Lose Weight Quickly [Last Updated On: June 7th, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 7th, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight Fast - Like 30 lbs In 4 week! [Last Updated On: June 28th, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 28th, 2011]
- Secrets Revealed: How To Lose Weight Quickly [Last Updated On: July 12th, 2011] [Originally Added On: July 12th, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight Quickly with Great Weightloss [Last Updated On: July 24th, 2011] [Originally Added On: July 24th, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight Quickly Without Going Hungry! [Last Updated On: August 9th, 2011] [Originally Added On: August 9th, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight Quickly - Using The Lunch Box Diet [Last Updated On: August 9th, 2011] [Originally Added On: August 9th, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight Quickly - Walk To Your Fitness [Last Updated On: August 14th, 2011] [Originally Added On: August 14th, 2011]
- 30-Minute Weight Loss Circuit Workout [Last Updated On: September 25th, 2011] [Originally Added On: September 25th, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight With Five Secret Tips [Last Updated On: September 26th, 2011] [Originally Added On: September 26th, 2011]
- My 56 Day Juice Fast Summary - How I Lost Weight Every Day! [Last Updated On: September 27th, 2011] [Originally Added On: September 27th, 2011]
- Weight Loss Exercise Program Week 5 [Last Updated On: September 29th, 2011] [Originally Added On: September 29th, 2011]
- Beginner Home Workout #1 - Lose Weight Fast [Last Updated On: October 1st, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 1st, 2011]
- 300 Rep - Lose Weight Fast - Fat Burning Home Workout [Last Updated On: October 6th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 6th, 2011]
- How To Lose Baby Weight FAST! [Last Updated On: October 6th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 6th, 2011]
- Lose Weight FAST - Burn Fat - Low Impact Home Interval Workout [Last Updated On: October 6th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 6th, 2011]
- My 170 Pound Weight Loss Journey and Diet - Lose Weight Fast! - Sierra Goodman [Last Updated On: October 8th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 8th, 2011]
- Exercises To Lose Weight Quickly [Last Updated On: October 8th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 8th, 2011]
- Build Muscle Fast! lose pounds! [Last Updated On: October 10th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 10th, 2011]
- How to lose weight fast and easy [Last Updated On: October 13th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 13th, 2011]
- How I lost 100% of my excess body fat! [Last Updated On: October 13th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 13th, 2011]
- WEIGHT LOSS TIPS FOR LOSING WEIGHT FAST—RAW FOOD WEIGHT LOSS—HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT FAST - Video [Last Updated On: October 14th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 14th, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight as FAST as you can Handle! - Video [Last Updated On: October 14th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 14th, 2011]
- Lose Weight Fast - Video [Last Updated On: October 15th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 15th, 2011]
- The China Study 02 of 14 ( Vegan Vegetarian Health Benefits / Lose Weight ) - Video [Last Updated On: October 15th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 15th, 2011]
- What To Do To Lose Weight Fast? Try Dr. Larry's HCG Drops! - Video [Last Updated On: October 17th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 17th, 2011]
- Burn Belly Fat - 7 Minute Home Workout - Hammer Says Lose Weight Fast - Video [Last Updated On: October 17th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 17th, 2011]
- How To Get Skinny [Last Updated On: October 17th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 17th, 2011]
- Chiseled Chair Challenge - Lose Weight Fast with this Full Body Workout - Video [Last Updated On: October 18th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 18th, 2011]
- Lose weight fast.Diet Solution Program - Why Diets Keep You Fat And Prevent Weight Loss! - Video [Last Updated On: October 18th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 18th, 2011]
- The China Study 03 of 14 ( Vegan Vegetarian Health Benefits / Lose Weight ) - Video [Last Updated On: October 20th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 20th, 2011]
- Hungry? Hunger Control, Cravings, Weight Loss, Nutrition - Video [Last Updated On: October 21st, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 21st, 2011]
- My Weight Loss Journey - How I lost Six Stone - Lose weight fast and easy? - Video [Last Updated On: October 23rd, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 23rd, 2011]
- How I lose weight Fast - Massive weight loss Tips you must know! - Video [Last Updated On: October 25th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 25th, 2011]
- How to lose weight quick..how to lose body fat - Video [Last Updated On: October 26th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 26th, 2011]
- Gain Lean Muscle Mass! Lose Weight Quick! (Brandon Carter) - Video [Last Updated On: October 26th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 26th, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight: Exercises to Lose Weight Quickly - Video [Last Updated On: October 26th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 26th, 2011]
- How to lose weight Quickly for women 😀 .mp4 - Video [Last Updated On: October 27th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 27th, 2011]
- How to lose weight fast, and tone your legs today - Video [Last Updated On: October 27th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 27th, 2011]
- Lose Weight Fast on A Treadmill Using This - Video [Last Updated On: October 27th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 27th, 2011]
- Exercises to Lose Weight Fast #1: Squats Workout - Video [Last Updated On: October 27th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 27th, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight in a Week - The Weight Loss Diet Bully - Video [Last Updated On: October 27th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 27th, 2011]
- SUPERFOOD GREEN DRINK - LOSE WEIGHT FAST - RAW FOOD - Video [Last Updated On: October 29th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 29th, 2011]
- How to lose weight fast now! - Video [Last Updated On: October 30th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 30th, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight Fast - Weight Loss Pills - Alli Diet Pills Reviewed - Appetite Suppressant - Video [Last Updated On: October 31st, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 31st, 2011]
- Lose Weight Fast (Lose 40 pounds in 60 Days!) - Video [Last Updated On: October 31st, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 31st, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight Fast, Exercise - Video [Last Updated On: October 31st, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 31st, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight Fast and Easy on The Saturday Morning Diet - Video [Last Updated On: November 1st, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 1st, 2011]
- How Stars Lose Weight Quickly - Video [Last Updated On: November 1st, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 1st, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight Fast and Easy - WOMAN - Video [Last Updated On: November 1st, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 1st, 2011]
- Fast Muscle Gain! Lose Weight Quick! - Video [Last Updated On: November 12th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 12th, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight FAST exercises - Video [Last Updated On: November 17th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 17th, 2011]
- Ways to Lose Weight Fast! Burn Body Fat! - Video [Last Updated On: November 17th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 17th, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight FAST! (How To Lose Weight) - Video [Last Updated On: November 30th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 30th, 2011]
- How To Get Ripped Abs / Get Rid Of Belly Fat / burn the fat - Video [Last Updated On: November 30th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 30th, 2011]
- Weight Loss Plans to Lose Weight Quickly Weight Tips For a Healthy Life - Video [Last Updated On: November 30th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 30th, 2011]
- Healthy Eating : How Can I Lose Weight Quickly? - Video [Last Updated On: December 2nd, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 2nd, 2011]
- Lose Weight Quick! muscle burn fat! - Video [Last Updated On: December 5th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 5th, 2011]
- How To Lose Weight Fast - How To Reduce Body Fat - Video [Last Updated On: December 8th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 8th, 2011]
- (How to lose weight fast) Transformation Month 3 - Video [Last Updated On: December 13th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 13th, 2011]
- How to lose Weight Fast - Stop Dieting + (Top Reviews) - Video [Last Updated On: December 18th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 18th, 2011]
- HoneyCups How To: Lose Weight Fast! - Video [Last Updated On: December 18th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 18th, 2011]
- 16 minute Extreme Fat Loss Home Workout - Video [Last Updated On: December 18th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 18th, 2011]
- Watch 30 Pounds Lost! 165 Pounds. Weight Loss! - 30 Pounds Lost! 165 Pounds. Weight Loss! - Video [Last Updated On: December 21st, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 21st, 2011]
- Lose Weight Fast Morning Bedroom Workout - Video [Last Updated On: December 21st, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 21st, 2011]
- Watch My 170 Pound Weight Loss Journey And Diet - Lose Weight Fast! - Video [Last Updated On: December 21st, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 21st, 2011]
- How to Lose Weight: Quick Weight-Loss Workout to Lose 15 Pounds Fast - Video [Last Updated On: December 23rd, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 23rd, 2011]
- How To Lose Your Belly Fat - Video [Last Updated On: December 29th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 29th, 2011]
- HCG Lose Weight Fast Like 40 pounds in 2 weeks - Video [Last Updated On: January 10th, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 10th, 2012]